DEAR DIARY

Wow, it's been 2 years now i haven't made any single post.

But here i go again.


Anyone of you ever had a "diary"?

Me, yeah i ever had a diary when i was still 12 years old. When i was still studied in Junior High School. A year after graduated from Elementary School i think.

I used to write all my whole days in that book
The time when i got punishment from my Math teacher, the time when i got a compliment from my history and english teacher, i love those time.

And well, i also wrote there about the time i started to falling in love with someone. Hahahahah, if now i am remembering again my past time when i was still in Junior High School, it was such a funny times. I usually wrote there, before i sleep.

I still remember it clearly :D about the time i bought that book. The colour was purple, a thick book while there was a little girl was walking in the cover pic :D The book is cool. I bought that and every night before i went to bed, i sit on my chair in my room and just wrote in that book. Sometimes was something like

           "Dear Diary, today i was so happy :D I was happy because again met him in Scout Activity. I hope that next time he will again angry on me and give me punishment. Because i love it when he gets angry. He still looks so cute hahahahaha and well, there also because i want to get a higher position in Scout :D From now on i will be the girl who will read all the ten Dasa Dharma in every ceremony held. I am so proud that i will stand in front of many friends and then say all loud all the ten Dasa Dharma without reading from a paper. Yeah, this is all because of him. He is such a good senior that always force me to memorize all the claps, codes, knots, and rules in Scout. So that's why i hope he will again angry on me :D and force me to do or memorize something. For what he tells me i always do that. Every after Scout Activity whenever we are in our way home by bycicle we always talked and sometimes he shared something secrets of what usually senior's do :D hahahah it really helps me. He is soooo good and funny senior :D he just angry sometimes, but soon again he will good to me. I hope tomorrow will be happier than today. Hugs diary. Good night"

Yeah so sometimes i was just writing like that :D and whenever it was a sad story i wrote it only with black pen colour. Hahahaha :D was very different with the i happy story i had. The reason why i wrote the happy moments with the colourful pen was because my heart was also colourful just like the pen colour.

Well, i live in the 90's era. I don't really know now whether such things "writing on a Diary" still happening now. I know it was stupid to do, especially with the risk that someone might read it secretly if we are too careless. But still, in my opinion  it was a good and fun thing to do, also when we could open it one day and read one of those story we wrote.. Time flies so fast, memories should be counted each day.

So what do you think ? Are you going to make one now ? :P


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LIFE PART 6 ( MY IDEAL - OTHER'S FIELDS ALWAYS LOOK GREENER ?? )

          Spending time with internet is always such a relaxing time for me. I talk with friends, reading some articles, reading a history article, and still many more. I talked a lot with my friends. Both of them now work in an Elementary School as a teacher :) We talked much, from A to Z, from Z to A. Remembering our precious teenage time that is slowly gone now. I work for an export and import company as an Export Staff. If you ask me how is it, i tell you now, it is sooo much tired, boring but also happy :) Well this is life. I accept it, always try my best to just accept everything that comes and goes. Well, eventhough sometimes, i also regret my life. Sometimes i cry when the troubles come, but i will laugh out loud when the happiness stays.

          When i was kid, i always want to be a doctor. Yeah, it was when i was about 7 till 10 years old maybe. But since i gone to Junior High School, i was interested to be a teacher or a tourist guide. Since that time, those ideal are always in my mind until now. To be an employee in an office is really not my interest since i was kid. That is what my mom wants for me. She said being an employee in an office is cool. So when i reached it for her, she felt so proud and happy. But to be honest, i don't really enjoy my self to work as an employee. So that was why when i heard that my friends succeed to be a teacher, i became a little bit jealous :D hahaha so i told them that i am jealous but i wish them a more successful time ahead. They both are my best friends.

          Realize it or not, people always want another people's life. They just not enough with what they have now. This is the phrase we use to say here "other people's field always look greener than mine". I used to believe that words but as the time goes by, i can learn now that those words are not always true. There is impossible in this world that a person could live free from problems. I believe although how cool and calm their life is, but they surely have problems in their life, whether it is big one or small ones. So let's just live our life as it is. I train my life to always enjoy and cherish every moments that come. When we say thank you to God for everything we have, i believe new Grace from Him will come even more. We surely have ideals, but we can try and keep trying to get our ideals, just let's not just comparing our life with other's. But let's have our endless effort to have a greener field for our own.

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LIFE - PART 7 ( ANOTHER DAY WITH MR. XXXXX )

Another day another happiness.
Today, back again i learnt the AX program.
Sooooooo confusing me anyway.
Learnt a lot and get dizzy a lot.
But today i learnt it with him. Aww don't know!!!!
I am so dizzy that manager wants me to get in it.
And i am really trying everytime i have this lesson.
I want to be able and i want to understand of how this program works.
And he taught me and my friends today.
In the morning we learnt about discount in sales.
And again everytime he teaches, i can't even see his eyes.
So i just saw straight to computer, while he was sitting next to me.
Moving the cursor left to right, up and down, thinking, and etc.
I cursed my self, God, i don't know what happened :(
I just don't want this, really, but.
I really admire in him, the way he solved the problems we had.

In the afternoon, i was asking to another consultant in that room.
That consultant got some difficulties to solve my question.
So that consultant sit again next to him, and he taught his friend gently :P
Then the consultant came back to us (me and my friend)
And could solve our problem :D
It is really an A+ for him, i feel more spirit to know more about the program.
For me, he is soo smart, calm and he is soooooo straight to the point!! :D
Tomorrow i wont meet him, because he won't come in office.
But it's okay, as i said before, another day another happiness :)
I don't love him, but i just admire in him the way he does everything :D

LIFE - PART 6 ( THAT KINDA FEELING )

It's been a long time, since last time i loved someone.
These months i meet a man, i don't know.
His age, again so different with mine.
He is maybe about 15 years old older than me.
I don't know is it love or just like i am his fan.
But just, he is so smart, tidy, always on time, and a hard worker i think.
I think i am crazy to always in love with someone a way older than me.
But i just can't stop thinking about him these days.
And about my feeling, no one in my office knows it.
I will keep it as secret, i'll make sure of it.
I never and will never tell anyone or show it in front of him or my friends.

He is actually a kinda teacher for our company to use a new program
He helps us to learn how the new program works, how we use it, etc.
For the first and second time i joined the training,
I was like, "uhh this man acts so cool all the time,
Acts like he is the coolest guy, small talk, keep silent, sometimes thinking a lot,
Sometimes just standing up and come closer to us to see how we work"
Those are just what i saw for the first and second time i joined the training.
Months ago, i didn't join it, so i just know him.
We never talked and just i had no feeling with him at all.
That time, i was still in gloomy mood after the broken heart.
And for a while i tried to be alone, to set everything in 0 level again.

But these days i feel like, i don't know, i am happy, have again my own spirits.
Feel alive, feel just enjoy again.
Or maybe is this love again ? But i really hope not.
I don't wanna love him, but just, better to be only an admirer.

Oh yeah, just an admirer.

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LIFE PART 5 - ( CRAZINESS )

         

          I wake up in this morning and sitting in silence. I remember what i have done these days past. Sometimes i think i need a time machine. Why ? Just because with a time machine, maybe i can turn back the time as before. Still fresh in my mind, things that i done weeks ago. Those craziness with no basic at all. Things that pulled me in, that addicted me. Hard to avoid, but so easy to imagine, to do, and to have. But always, it is just me, adventuring in this life with all those hidden stuff that i never known before. slowly but surely, those hidden stuff are showing up in front of my face. It was just a second to took the step to get inside, but needs days and nearly weeks to stop it. I really wish that maybe if i could turned back the time, i wouldn't gone that crazy. To be honest, that craziness now sticks around me. It is just me, enjoying life with doing something crazy that i never done before. But sooner or later, i am sure, i will survive from that lunatic things. See ya in the next post.

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