Such a greatest broken heart that i am having now. He hurts me more than i ever
thought he could do. Everytime i see straight to his eyes through a picture
that i have, i never understand how he could let me have such feeling. His
smile there, was a very warm smile. A very calm face i see everytime i see his
pictures. But i really never imagine before that this very calm person can
bring me to such this pain feeling. Everything was going well at the beginning.
I had no thought before that one day, our met would bring me to a very toughest
part in my life section.
I was just letting day by day became closer to him. Till one day i really realized that i am in love with him. But then i got a reality that really slapped my face. That all dreams i ever had were nothing. That all the feeling that i have, are just a waste, that all our talked were just all a running time for him. Realizing that the man whom you love so much brings you to the dark dawns, dark nights, coldest feelings can really make us cry soundless. I know that it was all my fault that i ever gave him a power to control my feeling, i should have known before that it would be the end that really gonna happen between us. That i shouldn't love him so much till like this.
But all i know is that i am alone now for facing this greatest pain and hard times in my life. There, a place where i will cry, crawl down with tears on my eyes, with all the moan that this heart has. So, everytime i remember him i will just tell myself that these all just a wasting time and nonsense to do that he is happy now and even don't want me. And if i even go back to him, then means i have to follow the game rule that he made between us. I try to be strong everytime i can. Every single time i remember him. I will always remember that "Someone whom i ask for, asks for someone else".
Don't care about how big my love to him, the fact is just "He doesn't want me". If it's already become a something patent, then i have no reason anymore to stay. Because life is not just hanging for a boy. There is a quote that really strengthten me "SOMEONE WHO LOVES YOU, WILL NEVER GONNA MAKE YOU CRY". Means if he do so, then he doesn't love us. Someone who really love us, will never let us to sink in a pain pool and never let even a tear fallen from our eyes.
So what i always say to my self everytime i get weak is just, "come on life must go on. Someone out there who eagerly wants to stay in his place, replace his place from your heart. He doesn't even deserve to get your true love. Because he had it and then he done nothing with love that you gave and left your love away in long".
I wrote this for a sharing thing. I hope people who read this also can get a strength. I really hope that all the pain will leave away soon. LIFE IS TOO BEAUTIFUL TO WASTED WITH TEARS FOR SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T EVEN DESERVE IT
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